This was a paragraph I wrote late 2009/ early 2010. It is being posted just now as I still think it is true...
'If you feel you are slowly loosing friendships, you are not the only one. Dealing with the situation you are in will make an emotional person even more emotional. Especially if you live far away from relatives, the friends you make will be the ones that you consider to be family. You will have to lean on them for support in everyway. Unfortunately, your needs might be more than your friends can fulfill and that is when the problems start. Even with your own family members this might happen. It is the very sad truth of how this can affect many areas of your life. Loosing friendships is not uncommon among families with kids with ASD. It is just that I thought it wouldn't happen to me and it did.'
A couple of years later after I first wrote this little paragraph that apparently I didn't finish back then, I keep seeing here and there people that were in my life prior to Nina's diagnosis and my 2-3 year long battle with depression. Some left because they couldn't handle it and didn't want to handle it and others tried really hard to reach out to me but I was in such a dark place I couldn't be friends to everyone at the time. It is unfortunate, but when I find myself missing those people that truly were friends and I pushed away, I remind myself that I did the best I could at that time and that if their friendships were a casualty of all this, well, I think of how great Nina is doing and think it was well worth it.
Now I see how as a family we keep people at a distance... We don't do it intentionally, but I see my other friends socializing with their kids and I just simply can't bring myself to do that. I am always nervous of how things will go as both my kids are simply different. They beat to their own drum. Matthias just recently diagnosed with ADHD has so many difficulties at a social level, that it is painful to watch him interact with other children his age. So when I look at my HUGE belly, and think of my twins boys coming soon, I feel relieved that even if the world is not so kind to my kiddos, they will always have their siblings. So if there are any feelings of loneliness, they do go away when I realize how busy our lives will be in a month or so and how Nina and Matthias will always have two other kids that will love them for who they are. I will try my hardest to make them understand how important it is to have a good relationship with your siblings....
'If you feel you are slowly loosing friendships, you are not the only one. Dealing with the situation you are in will make an emotional person even more emotional. Especially if you live far away from relatives, the friends you make will be the ones that you consider to be family. You will have to lean on them for support in everyway. Unfortunately, your needs might be more than your friends can fulfill and that is when the problems start. Even with your own family members this might happen. It is the very sad truth of how this can affect many areas of your life. Loosing friendships is not uncommon among families with kids with ASD. It is just that I thought it wouldn't happen to me and it did.'
A couple of years later after I first wrote this little paragraph that apparently I didn't finish back then, I keep seeing here and there people that were in my life prior to Nina's diagnosis and my 2-3 year long battle with depression. Some left because they couldn't handle it and didn't want to handle it and others tried really hard to reach out to me but I was in such a dark place I couldn't be friends to everyone at the time. It is unfortunate, but when I find myself missing those people that truly were friends and I pushed away, I remind myself that I did the best I could at that time and that if their friendships were a casualty of all this, well, I think of how great Nina is doing and think it was well worth it.
Now I see how as a family we keep people at a distance... We don't do it intentionally, but I see my other friends socializing with their kids and I just simply can't bring myself to do that. I am always nervous of how things will go as both my kids are simply different. They beat to their own drum. Matthias just recently diagnosed with ADHD has so many difficulties at a social level, that it is painful to watch him interact with other children his age. So when I look at my HUGE belly, and think of my twins boys coming soon, I feel relieved that even if the world is not so kind to my kiddos, they will always have their siblings. So if there are any feelings of loneliness, they do go away when I realize how busy our lives will be in a month or so and how Nina and Matthias will always have two other kids that will love them for who they are. I will try my hardest to make them understand how important it is to have a good relationship with your siblings....
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.